My mom started crying before Nolan's name was even read. She'd been holding it together all morning, through the 5:45 a.m. alarm and the drive and the walk from the parking lot, and then the graduates filed in and she just went. My dad handed her a tissue he'd clearly packed for this exact purpose. Then, a minute later, he needed one too.
Yesterday my little brother graduated from the University of Illinois with a degree in computer science. He's twenty-two, he starts a job in the Loop in July, and he still eats half a pan of anything I cook. I am so proud of him I could burst.
The drive down
Champaign is about two and a half hours from Wilmette, most of it straight down I-57 through flat farm country with nothing to look at but fields that were just starting to come up green. We went as a day trip in my dad's car, the four of us minus Nolan. Grandma Ruth decided the drive and the stadium seats were too much for her, so she sent Nolan a card and a check and made us promise to send photos.
We left at 6 a.m. My dad drove, my mom read out the directions though nobody needed them, and I sat in the back with a thermos of coffee and a bag of bagels from the grocery store. We stopped once for gas and once for a bathroom, and got to campus with time to spare. Parking near the main ceremony was a mess, as you'd expect when thousands of families arrive at once, so my dad parked farther out and we walked.
The big university-wide commencement is a lot of people, and from the stands the graduates look like a field of identical caps. We spotted Nolan because his roommate had stuck a small Cubs logo on top of his. It was not subtle and we were grateful.
The speeches were long, the sun was out, and I got a little sunburned on one side of my face. When they announced the computer science graduates, the three of us stood up and yelled, along with a few thousand other families yelling for theirs. I don't think he could hear us. It didn't matter.
Afterward we found him outside, in his gown, looking both tired and happy. My mom hugged him for a long time. My dad shook his hand first, then gave up and hugged him too.
What it cost us
I'll keep this to my part, since my parents paid for most of the day and didn't share their numbers.
- My share of the gas: $30. My dad tried to refuse, so I put it in the cup holder.
- Coffee and snacks for the road: $9
- Nolan's graduation gift: $100
- Flowers for Nolan, which he pretended to be embarrassed by: $15
Total: $154.
My parents covered the parking, the family dinner after the ceremony and the bagels. We ate at a casual place near campus with Nolan and two of his roommates, and my dad picked up the check before anyone could argue.
The gift was the hardest decision. I'm two weeks from moving into my own studio in Evanston, and my move fund is right where it needs to be, so I didn't want to dip into it. The $100 came out of my May fun money, which meant skipping a couple of dinners out. I got him a good commuter backpack with a laptop sleeve, since he'll be riding the train into the Loop every day. He opened it at dinner and immediately started moving his stuff into it, which I'm taking as a review.
Nolan stayed in Champaign for one more night to pack up and say goodbye to his friends, so the three of us drove home in the dark. My mom fell asleep before we were out of Champaign County. My dad and I talked about Nolan's new job and where he'll live, a rental with two friends somewhere in the West Loop or Pilsen. My dad asked, very casually, whether I thought Nolan knew how to make a budget.
I said I'd make sure he does. I'm already planning to send him a blank copy of the club sheet.
A small note on being the older sister
Watching Nolan cross that stage made me think about my own graduation from ISU in 2022. I walked out of that ceremony with $31,400 in student loans and no real plan for them. Nolan's in a better spot than I was, with fewer loans and a job lined up, partly because my parents learned some things from watching me.
I'm not jealous. I'm relieved. And I'm a little proud of myself, too, for being the person he asked about health insurance last month instead of searching for it online. We got home around 11. My mom cried one more time, looking at the photos.
